Stories

Is the photo responsibility equal in same-sex relationships?

January 1, 1970

Fierce, funny, feminist. Katharina Wohlrab is the definition of cool and we got the chance to have a chat with her about demanding photos from your partner, being the one who takes on most of the responsibility in a relationship, and, of course, those nap times that save your sanity.

Where I live:

In the beating heart of Berlin

With who:

With my wife, our little one-year-old, and three dogs

What I do:

I’m the CEO of a non-profit organization that teaches computer science to girls in elementary school, with the aim of closing the gender gap in STEM. I also teach at uni, and I do Instagram too.

My favorite part of the day:

Nap time at lunch. Without doubt. I’ve gotten into my baby’s routine of taking a break at lunch, and I love it. Maybe I’ll read a bit of something light or binge watch a TV show, just something that doesn’t involve me thinking at all, but at the same time still lets me feel everything.

Is it important for you to take photos of everyday moments with your kid?

It’s so important to capture everyday moments, especially when you have kids, because those days go by so fast. You blink and your little baby isn’t a baby anymore, but an independent toddler. You blink again and your toddler isn’t a toddler anymore, but a “go-away-mom” teenager. 

“I've learned to demand pictures being taken of me and my child – and that actually works.”

Who takes the most photos in your family?

I’m usually the one taking photos of our family, so there’s a ton of pictures of my wife with our child, and definitely less of me with our child. I’ve learned to demand pictures being taken of me and my child – and that actually works. There are fewer pictures of us doing everyday stuff and more staged ones though, but we’re getting there!

Now we recognize that all families are unique, and there are exceptions to everything. Do you believe that the photo dynamics differ in same-sex relationships?

I think there might be a fairer dynamic in same-sex relationships. However, in ours at least, it’s still not 50:50. Of course I can only speak for myself, but in our everyday life I’m the parent who takes the most photos – I’m also the parent who packs bags and overthinks everything. So maybe the “capturing moments” responsibility has a lot to do with who feels more responsible for the child and their needs. Which for us, is me. I gave birth, I breastfeed, I co-sleep – I’ve been taking on more responsibility from the start, even if we really try to balance it out.

“In our everyday life I'm the parent who takes the most photos – I’m also the parent that packs bags and overthinks everything.”

What advice would you give moms who struggle to get themselves in their family photos?

Demand it! When you’re in a situation where you’d like to be photographed, say it out loud. I’ve read about so many women putting their phone in selfie mode and filming or photographing themselves, because their partner isn’t doing it. But that doesn’t change anything. I think we, who are better at capturing moments, need to ask. Ask, ask, and ask again. I do. And I feel like there’s a change happening, slowly but surely.

Photo by: Sina Diehl, Danilo und Sharon, Nicole Franke